Im scared, a little worried and very nervous about what the future holds not just for me but the wonderful friends in which follow my footsteps. I love and cherish each memory I have with them especially those at school.
Its not really the end, everyone keeps syaing this to me, us. But as a group, not all of us are staying on - some are moving to other places. This is heartrenching and painful. I know we will still talk of course we will.
I had not accepted this until last night under extreme circumstances stood with 2 friends, saying its okay we can come down in another 3 months and just walk from school, then I realised we couldnt because one was in fact going to college - Its just the smallest things that catch me the most and stun me into utter amazement.
Like in my previous post - I have been inspired by the better, I know what I want to do, I have a dream and goal in which I will endeavour to achieve. This dream, ambition seems such a long walk away and such hard work - I know it will be, but im not afraid - no, in fact if there was any emotion I could relate to it - it would be excitement. The future of course - as scary as it is - is exciting. I have plans for everything, they will never be put inplace but they are just small dreams of how I wish it to be. The smallest of things can be so exciting like the colours of the bows to be placed on the back of the seats which will feature at my wedding - if I ever do indeed get married, or the names of the children I may, or may not have.
Everything, every small little thing which is to occur in my life has a plan - it does not always follow this plan but it has a plan. I was once told I was organised - but this person had not seen my bedroom - It is a mess. But thats because I am a teenager and it would be so insanely abnormal if it was neat and tidy. But no matter how much of a mess my room is - I can find and locate each and everything in which is placed in that room.
No comments:
Post a Comment